Pick a damn person.
I’ll hold my hand up and say loud and clear, “I am NOT a copywriter!”. I’m not even a huge fan of writing that much – mostly because I hate thinking about what to write and I’m a horrible self-editor. Really, even text messages take 20 minutes for me to construct. But with the copy on your website, can you all do me a favour? PICK A DAMN PERSON!
You know, first person, second person or third person.
Go on, read this sentence and try to suppress the rage-induced desire to grate off my nipples. (Not in a sexual deviant way, just to be clear…)
Gemma is a web designer with a love of colloquial vernacular. Get in contact with me, I love speaking to new people!
Hard, isn’t it! Now, put that grater down, and step away from the kitchen cupboard… Little further… Liiiiiittle bit further… Great, thanks.
Take a good, long look at your copy. If you are doing this on your site (contact and about pages are by far and away the worst for these sort of grammatical shenanigans), it’s actually distracting the shit out of your readers.
In some truly heinous cases? It sounds as if the writer has multiple personality disorder.
Either way, if you want people to visit your site, love your work and give you money, then don’t make it hard work for them to understand your message by confusing your people (persons? person? Ah, fuck it. Just don’t).
Until next time,
Holy moley! That was good, right?!
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